It doesn’t have to be someone in authority, just someone who you feel comfortable talking to. Try and find someone you trust to talk to. Remember it wasn’t your fault and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it, don’t blame yourself. Relationship abuse and being pressured into sexual activity you don’t feel comfortable with is never OK. Have you experienced what Luke’s been through? I didn’t realise it could happen to men too. I thought that it was only women who could experience domestic abuse from their partner. They said that what I was experiencing was domestic abuse and put me in touch with organisations that could help me. I escaped from the flat when he was asleep and called the police. He locked me in, beat me up and threatened me with a hammer – forcing me to have sex with him.Īfterwards he blamed me, saying that I was a tease and that he was entitled to have sex with me whenever he wanted to. After one argument, I tried to leave the flat to get away from him. He was my first boyfriend and I didn’t know any different.
He said that it was normal for men to fight when they are together. I didn’t tell anyone and pretended everything was fine. I had sex with him to keep the peace, even though I didn’t want to. He started pressuring me into having sex and would threaten me if I refused. He said he could understand why I was raped and that it sounded like I led the guy on. During an argument, I told him I was assaulted when I was younger. But eventually he started asking questions. I started to make excuses to avoid having sex with him and for a while, he didn’t question it. He would slap me, push me, hold me down and throw things at me. I was dependent on him for money and I became increasingly cut off from other people.Īrguments became more regular, often become physical. He started to look through my phone to check up on where I was and who I was with. He said he didn’t want me to work and that he wanted to look after me. He started to restrict the time I spent with my family too. He said he didn’t like my friends and gradually I lost contact with people.
When I turned 18, I moved into his flat and things started to change. I didn’t tell him about the sexual assault or that I found having sex difficult. At the beginning, I had sex with him because I thought it was what I should do as his boyfriend. I really liked him, although there were things about the relationship that were hard. He was really popular, fun and good looking.
Soon after I came out and I started going out to gay clubs. I started to drink and take drugs to try to get it out of my head. I was too embarrassed to tell anyone and he told me that no-one would believe me. He gave me loads of alcohol and I got really drunk. When I was 16, I was sexually assaulted by a family friend. Case Study: Luke*, aged 16, was in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship with his boyfriend.